Bigger content warning because I feel like I’m going to cover more then just the tag since I can’t choose multiple.
Adding the ages because I thought that’d be important, i know I need something right now I just don’t know what. I kind of want reassurance but I don’t know what, or advice on what to do but I don’t know if I should take any advice because I feel ungrateful.
So a while ago my housemate did something that we both knew trigger my friend who I’m living with so I asked him “hey can you please not do this, we both know it trigger **my friend** and I know you wouldn’t like it if they did something they knew you didn’t like.” And he stormed off to his room. I ended up seeing he put a note on his door saying “the next cunt that tells me what to do I will bash their fucking head in, I’m not joking”.
I told one of the adults that comes by that was at the house what happened and gave them the note and went to go to bed since it was late and I had school in the morning, but because I was freaking out due to the fact I was scared of him now and that it brought up trauma for me, I couldn’t sleep and I had to talk to them. I told them how I was feeling and they said I did a good job of expressing what I wanted to say to this guy but as he has autism he doesn’t properly know how to express his anger, so I just have to give him some space.
I haven’t been able to talk to him since then because he gets angry easily and I was scared if he got angry he’d blow up and hurt me so I’ve been avoiding him at all costs, but he cracked the shits a little while ago because some food he ordered wasn’t getting delivered and punched a hole in his door and started yelling about killing the people and the ways he’d do it.
I’ve spoken to the support coordinator about this and they had a meeting with the manager about it and have told me that they’re working things out and I want to believe them but they’re making it really hard. Nothing has changed, because the first time I spoke to them was between these two outbursts and I expressed I felt really unsafe around my housemate and I was told that as he’s autistic, it’s not his fault he’s reacting this way and we just have to work around it.
It hurt a lot as well because they also told me he’s been going through a lot, but the only major thing that he’s told everyone about was him not getting accepted into the adf(I think it was them) because he lied about having an injury so I can’t be too hard on him, but this lady knows I have been trying to talk to police about the fact that my ex sexually assaulted me, that my father kicked me out and I’m getting harassed by a girl at school, I’m trying to get therapy for the sexual assault trauma, let alone I’m on meds so I don’t do you know what, but I’ve been feeling like doing you know what for the past couple of days because no one’s listening to me! Like, I’m also going through some fucked up things, why aren’t you listening to me????
Before this whole ordeal I loved this place, I was so grateful, even now I feel if I stood up and did something like call the police the next time he made a threat like that I’d feel spoilt and ungrateful. I had never felt so safe and cared for, not even with my own parents. The last time I did was with my ex but I’m sure it’s obvious how that turned out.
This feels like shit because it started off with small thing like he’d get away with stealing the food people brought with their own money, calling people names, not doing chores or cooking (it’s mandatory), and now he can threaten to kill someone and get away with it.
I don’t want this to sound sarcastic, I promise I’m not trying to be but is this ableist? That I don’t see why he’s allowed to get away with this just because he’s autistic? He’s almost an adult, threatening to kill a teenager that just moved in, and I have to just live with it because he’s autistic.
I feel like such a shitty person but I just feel so alone and honestly kind of unsafe, and not just with the people around me now – with myself. This whole situation had me considering going to the hospital because of the things I was thinking about, the only reason I didn’t was because they’d send me right back home and I’ll feel like a spoilt brat which will make me feel even bloody worse.
Anyway, sorry if I sound like an asshole I just needed to get that out
Edit: My friend is possibly getting kicked out because apparently she’s the one making everyone else feel unsafe. I might just end up calling the police, but me and her will be talking about it tomorrow to figure out what to do