Hello everyone.
I’ve been struggling with my mental health for quite some time now but in the past year, and most of all, past month, I’ve been really struggling to find any kind of purpose in my life.
I’m 25, male, just got a job, I have some interests but I can’t really focus on them simply because I don’t feel like doing anything at all. I regularly go to the gym but it’s been an “autopilot thing” for the past year, I’ve been learning to play guitar but that also has come to strumming a couple chords and that’s about it, I play videogames with the sole purpose of letting time pass.
I’ve also been having many dissociation episodes and I generally space out pretty often, to a point that it becomes impossible for me to enjoy any kind of activity with my usual friend group and it’s become a hindrance for developing meaningful relationships.
Honestly it’s been quite a long time since anything satisfied me in any way, I’ve been feeling completely hollow inside with no strength whatsoever to bring myself to change my situation.
I’ve been seeing a psychologist that somehow stales what it seems to be a slow decline, been privately diagnosed with high functioning autism, very likely undiagnosed BPD and ADHD and at this point I’m not that confident about possibly feeling better with any kind of medication in case I get tested.
Is there any actual way for me to live a “normal” life without having to worry about these problems? Can I somehow feel fulfilled with what I think I want to do of my life? I’d really appreciate someone’s opinion on this, I just feel so lost.