I am currently in the career I always wanted as a child. I worked very hard to get here and it is an incredibly respected career. It opens so many fantastic opportunities and whenever I tell people what I do they are in awe. It’s a job that earns me respect and so much more, but, it’s been a complete disaster. It has taken me overseas and this is not the first time I have lived overseas but it is my first time in a region of the world which is extremely anti-me (LGBT with a very visible disability). My biggest challenges are:
[1] I face discrimination every hour. Locals insult me in the language which I know. They avoid me and they mock my disabilities. I’m in an ultra conservative country and whilst developed, the mentalities are not.
[2] I’m extremely homesick. Yes. I’ve done all the tricks. I’ve tried to do local things, I’ve travelled across the region (which I like a lot more) and exercise, but, I just can’t settle here. It’s been nearly a year. It’s exhausting and whenever I feel like I’m almost there something slaps me back.
[3] The job itself is just not what I thought. I won’t expand too much but it is not fun and I find it incredibly difficult. I’m more than happy to admit that I’m not qualified for this role and j shouldn’t be doing it. I’ve made my peace with that.
[4] There is way too much politics in my company. The gossiping is absolutely horrendous and I’ve had people imply they will destroy me if I don’t perform the way I want.
I’m looking for an out as, once you leave, it’s pretty much career over. I’m struggling to think about what I want to do next. My home country is Canada and the economy is not looking good. I’m thinking about completely leaving the sector and going into something new but, st my young age, I have no idea what to do. I’m at peace with the fact I’m not good enough for this. What’s next is throwing me. I’m so put off ghst my interests have veered completely.