Tldr: my gf of years has really terrible mental health and its driving me into oblivion. How can i help her while saving myself?
My (32m) gf (35f) have dated for 8 years. I authentically love her. Theres so much beauty in her character and a depth i havnt found with anyone else in my life.
The last few years of our relationship have been plagued by her mental health. Its been everything.
Manic episodes (months long) depressive episodes (months long), infidelity, hypocondria, rage and paralyzing anxiety.
She is getting every treatment available.
Meanwhile i built a life for her to join (financial independence, a home, a place away from her traumas)
Ive pretty much given her every second of time i have free and emotional energy i have.
A few months ago i caught her, for a third time, flirting with a guy (50+) who was actively trying to destroy our already weak relationship. I confronted her and told her it was time for us to move on. This thrust her into a huge depressive state (stopped working, stopped eating)
Our intimacy is non existent. She doesnt even hug me, and only recently started getting physically close to me again while we sit on the couch or the bed.
I told her i would stay in her life but need some emotional space. I have truly tried to be the best man i can be in her life. Im definitey not perfect by any metric.
Ive also shut down since then. Ive stopped pretty much functioning and to put it lightly become a zombie.
Ive stopped being ready at work, ive stopped excercising, eating healthy and become incredibly heathanistic.
I feel like if i can help her i can help myself and vice versa.
Any advice?