Pls read this post before deciding it’s in the wrong subreddit!!
(Only mention of SA! No description!)
I’ll start by saying, yes, this is about sex, but not exclusively. Lemme clarify that sub drop can be used to describe the emotional drop a submissive has after a BDSM scene, but it can also refer to the emotional drop any party experiences after sex.
With that cleared up, emotional drops also happen outside of sex. Like, feeling really depressed after a social event or trip. I’ve had emotional swings towards unpleasant feelings after big highs my whole life, it’s a part of having mood swings. My previous therapists have reassured me that, as long as they’re not too bad, they’re perfectly normal to experience and don’t indicate instability.
Lately I have been struggling a lot with emotional drops/mood swings after sex. Usually the whole day after I just feel kind of. Funky. Unpleasant. I am always in a safe environment with a partner I trust and who listens to me, I always focus on aftercare, and I usually feel pretty good for about an hour or so afterwards. Sometimes the drop comes on right after sex, but more often not until several hours after. During these drops I feel upset, very irritable and insecure about myself. I’ll feel out of body or I’ll have mean thoughts about my body, and even myself as a person. I struggle to communicate and feel mad or resentful towards my partner. I’m a high needs person in the day following sex, and I’m trying to work on what parts of support for me is on me and what is on them. They are generally very supportive and caring. Very helpful in general, and my upset towards them is about things they Didn’t do (and I didn’t ask for) or small things that wouldn’t normally upset me.
Additionally, I’ve been having emotional drops badly after non sexual activities. Like working out or going to work (going to work makes more sense as it’s a frustrating environment.) None if my friends understand being overcome by great dread, unhappiness and self loathing after a good workout. I often drive home and cry for 30 mins of my drive. I was not upset at my workout or immediately after.
I’m in the process of searching for a therapist covered by my insurance, but this will likely continue to be a long process. I have unaddressed CSA trauma, which I assume is causing my feelings after sex. But, why does my downwards slope of emotions last so long? Why do I have such bad mood swings after anything that makes me feel really happy?? Is managing this just a matter of “getting in a routine” to keep my depression/emotions at bay? Does anyone else experience this?? What helped?