Apparently the TMS (which if for OCD and depression mind you) would make my intrusive thoughts worse or whatever the doctor said. It would stimulate me too much I think he said.
I wondered if he thought I was lying. I’m diagnosed with bipolar but REALLY don’t think I have it. I really think my psychiatrist misdiagnosed me. She can be wrong like that sometimes. Maybe that’s why I was told I wouldn’t be a good candidate? Anyway it sucks having a BPD diagnosis when I really don’t think I have it. It’s gonna potentially screw up future treatments.
Anyway, seriously. 16 failed meds. Ketamine didn’t work after 6 months (I was told to stop my treatment after my provider listened to me give him an update for like 15 minutes and charged me $250 for the meeting. That’s it. He made a drastic change to my treatment plan after hearing me talk for quarter of an hour. Not that it was working anyway). Now I’m told I’m not a good fit for TMS. Oh, and insurance would’ve charged me $200 a day to keep doing IOP.
I sometimes feel like the universe is out to get me and wants me to you-know-what.