I feel a constant desire for connection and loneliness to someone I can share life with. I have improved myself a metric shit ton just over the past several years. Lost 110lbs, gained a bit of muscle as well, picked up new hobbies like guitar, hiking, and gaming. I have saved up money for myself, for peace of mind, used to be terrible at that. I have 2 dogs and a cat that help a bit. But there is always that feeling of something missing and that being someone to experience life with. I just don’t want to feel that sense of loneliness anymore. It makes me feel tired and I have passive thoughts of suicide very often. I don’t want to believe I’d actually do something like that but it’s been getting concerning and it scares me.
