I (female) have this memory of when I was 9 or 10, my younger cousin (male, 6 or 7 at the time) and I were playing and I asked him to take his pants off so we can play doctor and patient. I asked him to show me his butt, he did, but then I tried to touch him and he refused. I don’t think I pushed him and I accepted his no and we moved on. But that memory is haunting me right now and I’m not sure if he remembers it. We haven’t spoken since (I’m not close with any of my cousins or extended family members as an adult).
I think at that time I was exploring p*rn and had a lot of messed up exposure to things I shouldn’t have had. I’m scared I might have traumatized him. I care less about what he thinks of me but more if I might have mentally hurt him for making such a weird request when we were both children.