Having a lot of thoughts lately, I don't know what to do in life and every way seems lost.
I'm 20 and live in italy, it's been 3 years since i quitted school becouse of depression and restrictions about covid vaccines during the pandemic, my parents are no vax so unfortunately I had to quit that year and when I returned to school i just was afraid of being seen like a worthless stupid person for not getting the vaccine shots. This is still on my mind till now becouse im trying to see what I could do in life but everything seems worthless, my parents don't earn much and wont have a good pension, returning to school now just seems like what I shouldve done years ago and I just feel like a failure graduating at 22 and I wont ever have money or motivation to go to university, i have no friends, im ugly and im sure i wont ever have a good girl friends or be good enough to have one.
My other option would be to persue my passions but that hardly makes any money…
I cant stand losing time cultivating a passion when I wont ever get near all the money i need to even keep my current family alive.
I cant stand thinking that even in the best scenario ill probably earn 1000€ (not much) and probably lose my virginity at 25 with some prostitute or something.
Why do i have it so hard? Sorry for the vent, but im just a mess, please prove me wrong, I just want some love and to do something i like on life but right now it seems impossible to me.
