I have a lot of addicts in my family, alcoholics especially.
I have a lot of trauma.
I can’t get therapy in the UK – private is too expensive and public healthcare is basically nonexistent. I’ve tried every route that could maybe help.
There is nothing that helps except alcohol.
I had a bad relationship with it when I was 18, took my friends cutting me off for me to stop drinking.
I’m falling back down that hole again but I don’t know what else to do.
I’m so exhausted from insomnia and nightmares sometimes I think I’m going insane. The only thing that helps me sleep is alcohol.
So I either fall apart now or keep it together with alcohol as a crutch and have it all fall down around me later.
I feel like a failure and I feel like I was doomed from the start.
There truly is nothing that can be done.
I can’t get a full time job (disabled) don’t qualify for pip despite all the diagnosis and doctors notes I have. Only not homeless because of a friends genorosity (a friend who’s moving abroad within the next year).
My life genuinely seems like one shit joke.
