I used to be a semi popular content creator back in 2019-2020 on Tik tok, gaining thousands of likes and tens of thousands of views on every video I posted, when that started slowing down because of the algorithm change and overall just things slowing down naturally, I didn’t take it very well, I must’ve been around 16 at that time and it took a massive blow on my mental health because I thought what I was doing wasn’t good enough or that people were losing interest in me.
By now I’ve completely abandoned tik tok and I’ve been focusing more on posting my art to Insta and Twitter, but I’ve never been able to break through like I did on Tik tok all those years ago, the things I post barely get any attention anymore, on Twitter my content manages to get maybe 1 or 3 likes, while it’s a bit better on Insta, my fragile ego just keeps feeling like I’m doing something wrong or that people just don’t care about me.
This is a very narcissistic rant and I didn’t even realize it until I started writing it down, im just so addicted to the high of getting all of that attention that it almost brings me down into a state of depression when I don’t meet the standards I’ve set up for myself, which sucks because I genuinely love what I do, but I’m scared that this hunger for attention I won’t get will end up killing my drive and I’ll stop doing what I love.
I don’t know how to get over this, it feels like I can’t get over it