I’m 21M and study a very intense degree with 2 weeks until my final exam. I’d say on average I’ve smoked weed more days than not for the past 3 years. This academic year has been my worst yet in terms of getting high. For the past 2 months I’ve repeatedly declared to myself and those around me that I’m going to quit before my exam. Despite probably being an addict I don’t want to quit long term merely cut down. But i do want to quit short term before my exam. I wish I could just smoke responsibly but whenever I pick up I end up abusing it until I’ve run out of weed. The longest I’ve gone in those 2 months has been about 1 maybe 2 days without picking up and smoking. It’s impacting my studies and I need to find a way out. When I don’t get high I feel very anxious and have no appetite which makes me feel even more anxious and nauseous as I haven’t eaten anything. When I’m high I feel great and can eat a lot of food and feel relaxed and happy and find enjoyment in things. When sober literally nothing gives me enjoyment really maybe just a brief distraction from my anxiety. When I blaze however it obviously impacts my work and I can’t revise efficiently which gives me more stress and anxiety. I just want to quit for my exam but every time I just go and buy some more. I’ve ordered some and will pick it up in about 20 minutes. I can’t stop. I’ve ‘quit’ weed tens of times. I can’t even keep myself to my own word. Every time I pickup recently I always say it’s the ‘last time’. Even if I quit weed now it might be too late for my exam. I get a chance to resit so I do think it would all be okay in the end hopefully. My area of study has very high expectations in regards to its students and I’m scared to ask for help especially when it comes to drugs as it might be used against me. Sorry for the rant I just need to offload. It’s mainly the appetite. I usually can have some cereal too ease my stomach when I wake up but after that I won’t eat anything really until I’ve smoked some weed. The anxiety and nausea that comes with my empty stomach is just too much to bare.
