Soo i need to know if my standard for a relationship and a girl are normal and ok
. To start i should say that i have had depression in swings since i was 13,14 to now at 18 feeling worse than ever.
I was in 2 relationships and in both i changed myself to fit her and asked her to put in the same efort in oir relationship as i did but it didnt work i wad lied to, made fun of by her friends and even got beat up by her friends brother.
And now i have anxiaty, and trust issues i dont have friends to go out with and meet someone and most of my experience with sending dms on Instagram where just humiliation
Plus to add im not happy with my body and how i look im short for a guy where i live with 170 cm (5'6), i am fit bit my chest is slightly indented and i dont want to show ih.
If i was to go into.a relationship she would have to be shorter dosnt have to be fit but just not fat, i dont feel comfortable woth her having male friends since with both of my ex they went out with there male friends and lied to me saying they where going with there female friends, i dont want her to smoke, drink or go to clubs those are things i hate, it would also make me a lot more comfortable if she would have a app like life360 so i see where she is and snap so i can see her and see snaps of where she is and with who because of my overthing if nothing just for some time until i can gain trust see that she dosnt hide stuff lile the others.
Im broken inside and feel alone and more than anything would like a girl next to me than can help me get up and be with me but i just dont think any girl would want me lile this