Hello guys, I have a problem which is affecting me pretty badly, and I’m posting this in a hope that someone can help me, or someone went through a similar situation
I (25M) always had a hard time making friends growing up. It was a combination of social anxiety and simply a teenage ‘spite’ phase of not wanting to fit it. Throughout primary school and high school I never had a real friend.
Here’s the thing, I finally have a friend. We met 3 months ago and hang out once a week- once every 2 weeks. We’re having a great time, we are very much alike and I enjoy our time spend together. However, recently I noticed that I became too dependant on my friend. All I think about is us hanging out. Whatever I’m doing, I’m thinking about where we are going this weekend, what we can do, wondering what he’s doing right now. I’m constantly checking my phone to see if he sent a message or posted something, and recently I also noticed that I started having imaginary conversations with him in my head. I’m imagining talking to him about my day, even though we talk at the end of the day via messages anyway.
During workdays I don’t do anything, I don’t have any interests and I’m just laying in bed scrolling tiktok. There’s absolutely nothing I like to do by myself.
I don’t have a job because I’m finishing my bachelors degree soon, and I don’t have hobbies. All the things I used to enjoy before meeting him no longer make me happy. The only think that makes me happy is hanging out with him.
I was embarrassed to even write all of this because I feel like I’m acting like a 10 year old who wants to hang out with his friend 24/7, and not a 25 year old man. It’s just that I never had friends, and now this friendship means the world to me.
I would really appreciate if someone would give me some advice other than ‘find a hobby’, because I’ve been trying to. There’s not a single hobby I haven’t tried out, and living in a small town that has no clubs or activities makes it even harder.