i recently posted about my sexual assault when i was 9 years old
i really want to get it off my chest but i don’t want to tell my parents. so today im going to tell my 2 best friends who i know i can trust to not tell anyone. i just want to tell someone because for some reason it can’t get off my mind. i was fine for the longest but now its all i can think about. oh and i remember telling people in middle school about my cousin masturbating on omegle in front of me. but i never said anything about the things he’s done to me.
today i also asked my mom what she would do if her kid revealed to her if someone took advantage of their kid. she said she’d most likely believe her kid and then asked me if anything happened to me. i played it off by saying i watched and ears a lot of stories like it. i said no cus honestly im not ready to tell my parents. also i asked my younger brother if my cousin has done anything weird to him and he said no. i don’t think he’ll do anything to my brother especially since im taller now and more imposing but i wonder if he’s done anything to anyone else. also some people have suggested that maybe he’s also been abused when he was younger. i think that could be the case , i think he could also be mentally challenged or whatever. he’s the oldest sibling but i think his mom holds more of a leash on him. he has a younger brother and his brother is definitely more outgoing. he’s always going out and drives around. he even lived in another state for a while with his girlfriend and her family. i don’t think their mom would ever allow the older one to do that. i do wonder if he remembers what he did. he’s always talking about the year when it happened and how we had a lot of fun during that summer. but never mentions what happened.
i think it has had an effect on me. not too crazy but definitely has had an effect. more so on my sexual life ig. not gonna go too much into detail but yeah. i’ve always wondered why i had those issues but now it makes sense. it’s weird how before i never really thought about the whole thing but this past weekend it’s been on my mind. i don’t even remember what i read or watched to make me think of it.