Hello my name is Sebastian i often find my self thinking extremely low of myself thinking i’m the ugliest pos ever. I Understand that’s not true but my thoughts overwhelm me and i often find my self spriling down the same problem over and over again . I am extremely negative over all and very paranoid although I sometimes am very positive it’s only like 20% of the time .I have trust issues, abandonment issues and i’ve been addicted to weed for about 2 years now . I can’t seem to heal no matter what i try , i’ve been known for blacking out from heavy drinking and over all drug problems throughout my family tree. I’m 18 and i need to get my life together but i seem so increadibly stuck and i know it’s the drugs and drinking but at this point im only living because it would be selfish to kms . I’ve had full support and love from my family and i love them but even that doesn’t seem to work . I really want to change . I don’t know if i need a phycologist or something, has anyone ever been like me and eventually grew out of it? i feel like im doomed to end up in a drug related death or something im sure atleast someone can give me a positive outlook.