I have done fucking everything, I've gone to therapy, I've written in a journal, I've taken medication, I've talked to friends, I've ignored it. What the fuck am I doing wrong?! I'm sick and tired of always being sad, yesterday was my god damn birthday, I got presents, food I like, made plans for oaks park, and even then I wasn't happy. Is it me? Am I just a negative person?! Why does everyone on the internet make depression something that you can get over, or live with? I had one especially gold day, did really well on 2 tests, got an item in a game I've been looking to find for a while, got a new dog, new phone. All in one day. And only then was I happy, but directly after that day i had a horrible day. Why am I sad still?! I know not all my days are sad, I know not everything in my life is negative. I have amazing friends, decent family but I seem to want more. Am I selfish? Is that why I'm always so sad? At this point it's not even sadness, it's anger at the fact I'm always sad.
What am I doing wrong?!