My first time posting I don't really know what to say.
I think I have suffered with mental health most of my life, alot of domestic violence through out my childhood and school bullying, I'm now 30 years of age I ve worked on and off since I was 14. I've been out of work since I failed in the dream I got(working in childcare) I've never left home due lack of self and a controlling house hold, as of 4 months ish ago I've been diagnosed with autism, I'm currently at my lowest because the family cat passed away young suddenly this was about over a month ago, this was my sisters stress cat, ive been supporting her through then loss and breaking down myself when no one's around I'm the o e she's closest too. Unfortunately we fell out doe to her not being respectful with me, our mum did nothing and the step sister had been trying cause drama around this, I'm not on speaking terms with them, due to my mother being a controlling person and having a distasteful argument 2 months ago I'm not comfortable in my home I'm a reclusive person that never leaves the bed room, I currently at my lowest as I feel I'm in prison I don't come out of my room at the moment I feel very low never seen the point in life, I'm getting about 4 hour sleep every night and when I do sleep its nightmares on the impending argument that is to come between me and my mother, before any asks my mum is old fashion is best way to phrase I mention wanting to see a physiatrist proberly not spelt right her response is u can talk yo me, I said I can't because I have inner demons of the past and don't want to hurt her or upset her, main reason is I new me bringing this up would be insulting to her and waste of time as she thinks little of them. Not sure what to do been organising to move out but my mum wants me to go in care but this isn't happening soon enough I feel I could blow for reference why this is hard I ve never moved nor know what I'm doing and my mother is a very controlling person think of me a nohoper
