Stress is killing

I have been diagnosed with depression by two psychologists already and I’ve tried my hardest to get better. But I’m at my wits end here. Healthcare professionals here are either too expensive for me to afford and the affordable ones are overbooked or are not actually qualified.
Every time I start to make progress, my personal life gets a character development test which hinders my healing process.
I’m tired of waiting for them to be available for me.

I am in pain constantly from stress I have chronic pain and fatigue from stress. My heart beats to fast I get exhausted just lying down.

I just want 1 healthcare professionals that can help.

This is frustrating me because I do make progress but it all goes to waste because I can’t seem to hold down one psychologist.

Is there any way I can get any support? My passive suicidal thoughts are really really hitting me hard atm. I’m not a danger to myself it’s just I hate living but I am afraid to die yk?

Btw I only make $300 a month and my current therapist charges $20 per session and that’s my budget.(not from the us)

I need and want help I really do, but my resources are limited.

Idk if all this made sense. Please please help.

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