I can't do this. Even the old me, the me before all of this would have struggled. This new me this weak me the me that is left after my loves have been ripped away, feels beaten and broken, watched, and isn't a shadow of what I was before. This new me can't hold a candle to who I was. This new me doesn't have any answers this new me doesn't have any fight, this new me can't help herself let alone all of the other people who have relied up her. This new me is undeserving and unwilling and unable.
I didn't like the old me but I like the new me that is left even less. And when there is only the hurt that you have caused left and you are stuck in the middle using energy you don't have to carry on it's all just fumes. And NOTHING is ever good enough for any of them. I'm trying and I dont have answers. Smoke and mirrors. I just want to run away but there is no where to go. Just to check out for a while or forever that oblivion. So easily forgotten.