I [23M] messed up badly and I don’t know what to do

I'm autistic and pretty sure that I may have borderline personality disorder or something similar as well. I often end up making people visibly uncomfortable whenever I get too close. For my whole life I've struggled to bond with people and I don't think that I've ever had a close friend.

I recently said goodbye for the last time to someone who genuinely seemed to care about me. It did not feel right at all. I got the impression that she was furious over how poorly I've treated her. The response to my goodbye was just an angry look.

Even though it feels like she wants me to call her, another part of me tells me that she would call the cops on me. I seriously can't act like a normal person most of the time. My emotions are all over the place and everything just seems to get more and more confusing.

This isn't the first time that this has happened. I've left other people like this as well and I never seem to learn from my experiences. What is the best thing to do during these situations? Nothing obviously doesn't help.

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