My friend and I have shared a close bond for over two years. During this time, she’s confided in me about her struggles, and I’ve been there to support her. I even helped her move out of her apartment and let her stay at my place for days when she wasn't feeling well. I always considered her a good friend and trusted her deeply, sharing my challenges with her.
Recently, I’ve been going through a challenging time, feeling profoundly low for the past few months. It got so severe that I would wake up in the middle of the night with thoughts of ending my life, and these thoughts became increasingly persistent. In my desperation, I reached out to her, thinking she could help me find resources or support since she works in healthcare. I sent her a text explaining that I was experiencing intense selfharm thoughts and needed help.
To my shock, she stopped communicating with me right after that. She didn't read my messages or respond at all. On top of everything else, made me feel like an unbearable burden. The weight of it all pushed me to a breaking point, and I ended up doing something terrible to myself, which led to an emergency room visit.
Even after I started to recover, I reached out to let her know I had been admitted to the hospital. Sadly, she didn’t even read that message. A few days after my attempt, a mutual friend called me. Curious and confused, I asked him what was going on. He explained that my friend had told him she wanted nothing to do with me in case something happened to me. She referred to me as an attention seeker, which was devastating to hear, especially coming from someone I had supported through thick and thin. I had been there for her during her struggles and had kept her secrets safe. People always post stuff about reaching out to a friend when you are not feeling okay. But after this whole incident, I am scared to share anything with people around me.
I didn’t expect her to solve my problems; I hoped she could listen or talk to me. Instead, she went around labeling me a "mental case" and sharing it with others. It was more than I could bear. Feeling betrayed and deeply hurt, I blocked her and prayed for peace.
I worry this will come back to haunt me, with people accusing me of being harsh or "bitchy" for blocking her. But I had to protect myself.
Thankfully, I’m doing much better now. Therapy has been incredibly helpful, and I’m gradually getting back on my feet.