this is pretty dumb and selfish. maybe caused by ocd. please refrain from commenting if you get mad at this post.
i've had suicidal thoughts due to existential ocd and depression since like, 4 years. i'm 15 now.
i'm scared that someone i know, or my friends know, or anyone my age will kill theirselves. i live in a small town, so that's gonna cause a huge scandal for sure.
if someone kill theirselves, then i automatically cannot, yk? bc then maybe others will and my death will just go unnoticed.
it's not like i want to do it for attention of course, but at least i want some recognition if i die