Last year I (17F) had a small crush on a guy (21M) that works at my school, he stares at me constantly and eventually i developed an obsession of which I mistook for love. Every time he talks to me I feel over the moon and like the world is perfect. some days he barely talks to me and I go home crying, feeling empty. (I go to an alternative school so it’s a single classroom and he works full time)
I can’t stop thinking about him, I barely get a single second of peace in my mind. On weekends and breaks I feel alone. I look at pictures of him I find to make me feel better but I also feel extremely creepy. I feel ashamed.
Im aware this is called “limerence” but I know getting this all off my shoulders would really help HEAPS. I just want to say something to him but i can’t. I can’t take it anymore I just want to feel normal again especially after all my past problems had finally been solved. I just want to know why he stares. I need some sort of rejection even though I really don’t want it. Maybe he likes me too. I can’t keep this in anymore I’m exhausted from all these stupid “mood swings” or whatever they are. Do I have no choice but to pretend I’m ok?