So recently I realized that I am actually dumb. Until yesterday I thought of myself as a smart person. Mostly because of my own ego and my close people telling me that I am quite smart. But now that I have started to actually talk to the people who are actually smart – I realized how stupid, idiotic in fact, I am. And this drives me crazy, since it was the only thing I had.
I heave health problems, bad vision, I am not the president person in the world at all, I am full of strange and unhealthy habits, I am, what many might call, a sicko when it comes to anything sexual and I try to keep myself away from many people. And all that I compensated by telling myself "Well, at least I am smart enough to feel complete by myself." But I am afraid this is not a case anymore. I really lack critical thinking, lack understanding of many things and also unbelievably lazy and have attention problems.
Right now there is a conflict in my country… So I am really thinking of participating to just join army, go there and be ended. Since I can not do ot by myself. And I just wait until I get drafted. At least there is a relatively honorable way to clean myself of a genepool.