Hey I’m a 15 yr old male who is trying to make sense of the way I’m feeling. I have never really used Reddit but I can’t find anything online to really explain the way I’m feeling and I guess I’m seeking someone who can relate or explain? To be honest I kinda feel like a good person who’s pretending to be worse than I am. For example I convinced my mom to allow me to see a therapist but I find myself feeling like I’m lying to my therapist for no reason. When I originally wanted to go to a therapist, it was because I was cutting myself. Thinking about this I start to wonder if I was just doing it for attention or I just wanted people to see that I was cutting myself. I feel like I’m pretending that I have stronger feelings than I do. The only way I can think of explaining this is kind of a numbness, but I tell people I’m feeling a way that I should be in that scenario. Like when my father went to rehab, I didn’t really care, weirdly enough. But when people asked me, I kind of broke down and cried about it but when I think about it, I don’t know why I did that when I honestly didn’t care I feel like I pretended like that was some thing that affected me very heavily. I guess to say that I have good mental health would be an overstatement in a way because I kind of just feel numb about most things. This kind of feels more like a rant because I can’t really fully explain what I’m feeling. Can anybody relate to this?
