Hello everyone, I have a long history with mental health issues and along with that, not much history with getting help. I am from a state that does not have many resources, along with that have I EXTREMELY bad anxiety and am a trans man who has a lot of trauma with that. I am on anxiety meds which for a while just made me numb, and that was nice for a little. My job requires me to go out in the woods alone in the early morning. I do not feel safe, ever. I am not scared of bears or any animals, I just constantly feel like I am not alone or that I am going to be killed. I really cant stop my thoughts from racing when i’m alone. I try listening to music but that makes the anxiety worse cause I cannot hear what’s around me. I jump at every sound, my heart races, and sometimes I hyperventilate and sob. And then when I’m home I have nightmares and trouble sleeping. Is this schizophrenia? Paranoia? I have always been paranoid about what people think of me, but never that I was going to be killed or attacked. This is all so scary to me but I can’t lose my job.
