I have been having these strange issues recently that seem to get worse and worse. I have been actively seeking out disturbing or graphic content and I have no idea why. I have never hurt anyone nor had the urge to, and I NEVER will.
I do not enjoy this content and seeing people hurt makes me so sick to my stomach but I feel like I can’t stop once I begin looking. This also happens when looking up disasters or doing a deep dive into disturbing true crime stories/photos. I feel sick, shaky and every small noise has me on the verge of crying and having a panic attack.
Has anyone ever experienced this? I feel like i’m going crazy and wondering if it’s some twisted way of self harming or just feeding my safety anxiety that I already have.
Like I said, I hate seeing these things but I do it pretty rarely and it hurts me so so bad mentally.