I have been feeling quite low lately. There is unreciprocated love angle, professional unfulfillment, and substance abuse (weed only). I smoke up almost on a daily basis. I want to get to a healthier lifestyle, I’m not just able to. I have feelings for someone who’s a decade younger than me. I really like when I’m in her company. I’m her best friend. We have a very healthy boundary, I love her and want the best for her. Time to time she has new boyfriends and I am amicable to it. Lately though, I got pissed when she did coke at some party. But realised I wasn’t as pissed at her about doing coke, but more like doing it without me. More like we had plans, she cancelled it and went with her guy. Since then we’ve been cool, we’ve hung out, and all is well between me and her. I’m single, 32, earning quite well (decent 6 figures). I lost my mother few years ago and went though a very depressive period. I am getting remnants of that time again in my life where I feel that something is missing. I quit smoking last year for 100 days and that was really nice. Since then I’m back to smoking as well with smoking 10-15 cigarettes and 2-3 joints per day. I guess all of this is making me really unhappy because I know that I’m not living up to my potential. Any advice?
