not sure if this is the right sub, but i really just need to get this out of my chest.
theres this friend of mine that im envious of, and i feel like im starting to hate her more and more everyday. i hate her so much that i even think about doing the most violent and absurd things to her like killing her and something else which i wont mention just in case. a while ago i wrote in a group chat with me and her in and some other friends of mine about how i would kill her which was pretty detailed. i didnt feel the least bit of pity, i didnt feel bad at all. but i also feel like something's wrong with me when i think about these gruesome scenarios.
just for further explanation, this “friend” of mine is just such a horrible friend to me. shes pretty, cute, small, and innocent, she's the person ive always wanted to be. she gets anything she wants so easily, my life is nothing like hers and it makes my chest ache whenever i think about her.
i feel like im just dramatic though and its not really that big of a deal. but i always feel like something's wrong with me, that im just some bitch who never values their friends and hates everything and everyone.