I (28/f) have had some various health issues over the past few years, and found that there’s a common thread of me convincing myself that I’m not actually hurt/sick/in need of medical support. I need to stop doing it for my own health, but I just feel like I’m making up stuff or I’m being a hypochondriac and don’t want to bother folks. Idk what makes me do it, but I’ve had to lean on my husband as a medical advocate because I’ll tell him whatever my symptoms are, but as soon as a medical professional asks I’ll say “oh it’s nothing, 1/10 on the scale, no big deal” and he’s had to step in. However, he can’t be at all my doctors appointments or every time something comes up.
I had an experience in my early 20s where I felt a lot of stuff was wrong with me, and I went to several doctors who all said I was fine. I think that really warped my mentality around medical professionals. I am a slightly overweight woman with diagnosed depression and anxiety, so I got the typical “go outside and get some exercise and that will fix all your issues” thing.
Here’s some examples:
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A few years ago my appendix got inflamed and had to be removed. I waited two days after the pain started to go to an ER because “they’ll just tell me it’s nothing and send me home”. Nope. Emergency removal. Could have been very dangerous. But spent my whole time waiting downplaying my pain and telling anyone who would listen to me that I was fine, probably just constipated.
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This week, I passed out three times and begged my husband not to take me to the hospital. The next day I had a doctors appointment and mentioned it, they took an EKG and found some abnormalities, and admitted me into the hospital where I stayed 24 hours to do various tests. I kept repeating that I was fine, until my husband was blue in the face telling me I obviously wasn’t fine if I’m in the hospital. I was discharged after they didn’t find anything and my chest feels tight today, but I don’t want to bring this all up again.
I’ve worked with a therapist for several years now and plan to bring it up at our session next week, but didn’t know if y’all had any insight.