I’ve struggled with my mental health for as a long as I can remember but something feels different this time and it’s freaking me out at the moment.
Over the years I’ve had episodes of severe depression, I had about 6 months of constant anxiety attacks and at one point spent a good 2 months in a state of constant dissociation. There’s a lot more but generally I’ve had a hard time regulating my emotions and such and while I’ve spent a lot of my time in a state of ‘not doing well’ something about what is currently happening feels very different.
The last maybe two weeks it feels like something is creeping up on me in the back of my mind and there’s these alarm bells going off that something is happening to me. It’s not anxiety, I truthfully feel like I’m losing my mind. I feel very unmotivated for my everyday life but at the same time I constantly want to go do things. I want to start my life over, half of me is trying to convince myself that my career suddenly isn’t for me and to up and move back home.
I feel like no one gets me in my everyday life. No one understands me and no one likes me and I don’t need them and should surround myself with new people. I don’t even like hanging out with people why do I suddenly feel like this?
All of my thoughts lately have just been me arguing with the ‘evil me’ inside my head about all the absolute moronic ideas it wants me to do.
Not sure what to do from here, just wanted to get it out I guess, I’ve never felt this unhinged feeling before.