Ever since I suffered with limerence, I started to compete with the girl my crush was dating and him.
They were both always striving to do their best and getting consistent A grades.
Along with teachers always pushing their success in our faces.
I never felt I was good enough with anything I would do. Then once I started university I kept applying to a lot of opportunities and would multitask everything along with studying full-time.
I have come a long way but I can never shake the validation or being a workaholic.
I always want to strive to be better.
This is something which still affects me today, I just can’t stay in one place and I like doing multiple things all at once.
If I don’t work I feel like I am not being productive. Even if I take a break I feel as though I am not working hard enough.
Eventhough I work hard and people acknowledge, it, it doesn’t feel like I am doing enough.
When I was at secondary school I sometimes felt like my teachers overlooked how much work and effort I put into my subjects. I only received verbal praises.
It’s only when I was in sixth form, when I had my limerence phase that my teachers would acknowledge how hard I work and I would gain certificates etc
Even at university, all my tutors would recognise my hard work and would recommend me for XYZ.