Doctor tomorrow and if suggested meds dont help im over😞

Hi,

So as topic says i have doctor tomorrow which is my last change. I fucked up my life because of my mistakes with antidepressants. Mistake was missing doses for few days 2-3 times during first month of it because of medication fear. Any idea why i whould keep living? Most severe issue i suffer 24/7 is i have losted my identity/sense of self who i am due to missing meds and i cant live with that😞 If new med dont help in coming 2-4 months i feel i have no other choice than just end myself and i will really do it

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