she just takes my lists and preparation as “proof” that i’m googling too much and getting paranoid over nothing. i can’t remember everything that i need to bring up unless i write it down. i have an appointment in a couple weeks in which i need to ask to restart antidepressants, maybe start anti anxiety medication, and see a psychologist. i’m scared to bring any of this up due to years of being dismissed by her for both my mental and physical health. i need to do it. i’m going to do it. i can’t keep hurting my loved ones with reactions that i KNOW aren’t rational. but im so scared
