I (23F) am about to turn 24. I got cancer last year and lost all my hair, eyelashes, eyebrows, and got super skinny almost anorexic looking at 99 lbs. I’ve always been complimented my whole life about my looks. I have long legs and have always been skinny and had long thick brown hair, thick eyebrows, tan skin, etc. My hair is only just starting to grow back. It’s about to my ears now. I hate it. My acne is freaking out lately, my scar from my port is ugly and I had to get it revised so it’s fresh and bloody again. I no longer get compliments and no one looks at me anymore. I never thought that it would affect me that much but it does. It’s ruining my mental health. I never want to go anywhere anymore. I feel like a boy even when wearing a skirt. My boyfriend is super supportive and sweet and thinks I’m beautiful anyways, but I just don’t feel it anymore. It took me so long to feel pretty growing up, and as soon as I was confident, this happens. I just don’t know what to do. I have so many insecurities now that I had gotten rid of back in high school. It frustrates my bf when I’m always late to things now because I don’t look pretty enough to be seen. I hate it. I just feel so much grief for how I used to look. I don’t want to have pictures taken, I don’t want to go out, I don’t want to get engaged or married looking like this, I don’t want to be in my friends wedding looking like this. It’s ruining my life. Everyone says I’m so lucky to have survived the cancer and how aggressive my chemo treatments were, but I don’t care. It’s not helpful to me when my entire life was thrown sideways. I graduated two years late with none of my friends, my grad pictures were in a wig, my scar couldn’t be covered in makeup, my body looks frail, I have the body of a middle school boy now.
