So i recently broke up with my gf of about 2 and a half years . I was cheated on yelled on had to change everyrhing about myself just to make her feel good and not break up . I lost most of my friends and in that my childhood best fruend because „she is a girl and I shouldnt talk to her. I feel worthless after getting cheated on but still got back with her for another year after that. I was told that I am the worst and shouted at then love bombed. I am aware of everything but still cannot do anything about it. I feel I am not loveable or even liked. Its summer yet I spend all my time at work and when I get out of the house I go to grab a drink and go home after . I dont wanna live like this and hate myself while still loving her and wishing for her to come back. Still have all our photos and gifts. I hate myself for being stupid I want to end it or go back to substances and I know I cant because that ruined me from a young age but its getting really hard to no let myself go back to the state I was a few years ago
