My own downfall

Hi at the start i want to apologise for my bad english.
I dont know how to start this. Im 18yo man and Im just witnesing my own downfall probably in the worst way for me. It all started with me arguing veery offen with my dad and step mom. The arent very suporotive, they dont harm me..well not in the psychical way they often point out how bad i am etc I dont like arguing with them cause i find that pointless, still that affcets my mental state. One of the turning point of my downfall was me failing class and dissapointing my family. I see myself as a failure.
The thing that always bothers me is my second „voice in the head” that tells me how weak i am and i am a failure(compare this to the homelander mirror scenes, i know that sounds stupid but its very simillar) this second voice in my mind is like a worse version of myself. Lack of girlfriend also is breaking my mind. Recently very old friend of mine catch up with me..we used to play together and she used to look after me when i was young(she is few years older than me) when we started texting again…that was the moment of me loosing to myself. Idk if its a massive wave of nostalgia and love to her or something else. I just remembered how those times were better. Now because of that i cant controll emotions even when i go out with my friends. Even they think im overreacting etc, deep down i know they are right. I just cant really talk with anybody and my life and mental state are just falling apart. Every night is the same, im just crying. And now after that girl came back i cry in the evenings too

Once again im sorry for my grammar.

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