I have a good group of friends and their all so great. One in particular I have gotten alot closer with as she was the only one I was willing to open up to. For a while when I was at my lowest in my life she did ask me frequently if I was okay but after some good things happened in my life and I became happier she stopped. I feel like everyone assumed that I was okay when things started going right for me.
The truth is, while it was going great for a little while after being at my lowest, I feel like I've dipped back down again, slowly falling down. Now no one asks me that question, "are you okay?" But I want someone to, I want one of my friends to so I can be honest and say no I'm not. I always have to go to someone else first before I get any attention, that just makes me feel unwanted and ignored, I hate that. That one friend I usually go to, sure she's still there for me but only if I go first. It's so tough to go out with friends and laugh and smile when inside I know I'm dying slowly, parts of me disappearing forever. I just want them to notice my struggles but i dont know how to make them see it, see me.