Last night I emailed my old school teacher about wanting to open up about my emotional distress from the past 3 years. I had been venting online and a person helped me gather the courage to email an old teacher for support.
My teacher is really nice and supportive, and my old school was very transparent with mental health and struggle. This past week I have felt so lost and hopless and I didn't want to live like that anymore. I don't know if this was a mistake.
I don't know which voices in my head are in my best of interest. If I was thinking normally, I would know listening to anonymous strangers and even artificial intelligence is a dangerous game. I have had bad experiences with these types of support, as they usually suggest things like a hotline that had a notoriously bad rep. Knowing this, it's been killing me all day that I should delete the email.
I have so many worries on whether she will respond or not (we are very deep into summer break and I emailed her school account) or if she will respect my wishes of keeping my struggles a secret.
My worst fear is that this is all a mistake, and that I should have never reached out. Please someone help. I am about to become a junior in high school and I have been dealing with this depression for three years. Should I believe these online therapists or is it better to deal with it myself?
The online therapist told me my low self-esteem was contributing to my doubt and depression. I felt like they understood my situation. But I am so scared I am making a mistake.