I refuse to let anyone get that close to me. I’m self destructive and would just make them miserable regardless. It’s gotten to the point where to me, this is just objective fact. Even if someone managed to be close enough to become my friend and then say they have feelings for me, I wouldn’t accept because plain and simply, I’d be an absolute burden and drain them emotionally. Nobody deserves that, especially if their partner is already very distant and won’t tell them about what they’re feeling or even share the details of their life in general. As it is, I don’t have any friends because I won’t let anyone in. According to my sister’s therapist she had years ago, I’m an ’emotional brick wall’ or whatever that means. Either way, I don’t trust people enough to even be in this situation to begin with, just wanted to vent whatever came to mind to help with the aftermath of a breakdown
