Am 22f. I went back and forth weekly between parents ever since I was 2, until moving in with my dad when I graduated because my mom, stepdad and brothers were moving into a house 3 hours away and I wanted to stay in my city.
I kept communication with my mom everyday, usually throughout the day. We talked often and I would go make the drive to see them when I could even though I hated being there because it was so toxic. Flash forward to November 2022 and I’m getting a text from my brother that my mom (who was a nurse) got fired for stealing drugs, cheated on my stepdad, does m**h and is divorcing my stepdad to run away with the fresh out of prison man she cheated with. It was a complete shock to me.
Since then my mom did a complete switch on who I thought she was, has been in several different states not telling anyone where, constantly begging for money. Cut off her kids, ruined her relationship with every person she had, f**ked over everyone possible. She has said horrible things to my younger brothers and has made them super depressed. I could go into detail but I’d be here all night.
I haven’t spoken to her since January of last year when she told me she wouldn’t have a phone to sell it but she most definitely still had one. Hasn’t talked to me since. Last month she reached out to me through my brother trying to give me a part of the money she owes me, me saying not to worry about it. But she told my brother to tell me to reach out to her if I want and that makes me angry because you haven’t reached out in a year but want to wipe your hands and make me be the bad guy now if I don’t reach out? But why would I? So she can steal my car and rob me?
I don’t know. It sucks. For a while I was sad, then did my best to push it out of my mind and was more angry than sad. But im very much of both. Angry at her for doing this to her family and kids, raising us horribly then abandoning us to figure out the problems we have because of it on our own. Sad I don’t have a mom to go to anymore. I so badly wish I did. Im not close to my dad, or any adult for that matter. I also hate myself for having any sympathy for her, or feeling bad for her because I do and have zero reason to because she’s done nothing but make everyone in her life cry.
Im now kind of realizing I may never have a mom again, and if we do end up on okay terms again it’s likely just going to be me dealing with an addict or recovering addict who severely wronged me. I don’t know. Life is sad. My dad is barely a parent too I feel so alone. Just needed to get this out