I’m a 20 year old foreign student, for the past few days I feel like I’ve been going absolutely crazy and I have no one to talk to about this, I feel very alone
I think I’m having a psychotic episode. I’ve had a difficult time sleeping because I am constantly thinking about this, my mind is racing with thoughts, I am checking every single sound I hear and every see single thing I see in my peripheral vision to make sure it’s real or not, I’ve been having tactile hallucinations where I feel like there hair on my fingers that’s not actually there
I don’t think I’m having any auditory hallucinations but I might be having visual hallucinations because at some points I see black spots that look like flies in my vision that fly across my vision really quickly and then vanish midair, sometimes they look like white particles or snow either falling slowly or flying quickly like the black spots, I have a really difficult time telling if these are things are actually real and they are just flies or just a random thing falling from a tree.
When my mind is not going at a million miles an hour I just feel depressed and hopeless, mostly over the fact that my life is probably ruined if I’m actually psychotic.
I have a hard time going asleep because of how much I’m thinking and what I’m thinking about because at this point my thoughts stop making much sense they don’t feel coherent, they just don’t feel like my own thoughts.
I’m trying to set up an appointment with a psychiatrist but since it’s currently a holiday in turkey I might not be able to set one up till Monday.
I just feel so defeated right now, I just want to feel normal again, I thought maybe venting about this here might help me calm down a bit but I just don’t know anymore.