after a lifetime of verbal and physical abuse, my dad has ruined me. he made me severely mentally ill. i am unable to get a job and the one interview i had i blew because i was in front of 3 older men and i was so nervous i couldnt talk and i was shaking and i couldnt put together any coherent thoughts. because of my dad i had a psychotic break and was on lithium for a year to stabilize me and even before the lithium i was so psychotic for 3-4 years. i never felt like life had any meaning and i am so devoid of emotion or will to live because of how badly he abused me. i lost my early 20s to delusional psychosis and i was homeless and it was so fucking sad and ill never get those precious years of my life back. my dad got away with ruining my life. i have to suffer every day and for the rest of my life because of him and he will never suffer repercussions for what he did to me. im too mentally ill because of him to get a real job. he ruined me. i can only hope there is an afterlife so that he may burn in hell for his actions. i cant help but think about what i could have accomplished if it werent for him. ill never be ok because of him. how do i cope with the fact he was able to ruin my life and get away with it while i will always have to live with what he did.
