Today was a bad day. I (19f) just kept feeling rage and almost resentment towards everybody in my life. All my life I was pretty much abused and parentified. My parents never really taught me anything so I’m stuck in this weird limbo of not really being an adult but at the same time being an adult. I don’t even have a driver’s license. I just kept feeling horrible today. I wanted to just go. I just felt so angry. And I accidentally took it out on my siblings (9 and 3) I know it’s not their fault that I’m forced to be their “parent”. But I just couldn’t help myself I yelled at them pretty much all day today. I apologized after I felt okay. But I still feel horrible for it. Today I also hurt myself again multiple times. I suffer from OCD and possibly PTSD me and my psychiatrist are still talking about that. It’s gone to the point where it’s a disability. So I was in kind of a weird state of mind all day. I just don’t know what to do. I feel like I’ve become my parents. That at the end of the day I’m just as hateful and spiteful as them. They ruined me.
