I am a very introspective person and i have a habit of thinking deeply about WHY i do certain things specifically good deeds or positive things like being nice to people or helping homeless people. I have a fear that i only do good things because im trying to convince myself im a good person and in reality im actually evil.
Im afraid that im manipulative and even manipulate myself into thinking that im a good person when im actually not.
Does anyone else experience things similar to this. I know that i must not be a bad person bc i dont bring pain to other people but im a firm believer that a persons intentions matter more than their actions and i sometimes fear that my intentions ultimately come from a selfish place.
Nah, you’re doing good things because you truly are a good person… isn’t that right?
There was a point where I questioned this myself. I also wonder if my actions and intentions are genuine. I don’t think it’s wrong to want to help other people because it makes you feel better about yourself. Regardless of what your intention may be, the impact is really what matters. Someone who was in serious need got help for something…anything. I know it’s hard when we fall into a place of wanting to judge ourselves, but is that what’s actually important in the grand scheme of things? Someone ultimately benefitted from your actions and are able to have a better chance at life. You committing an act of kindness is still coming from a good place. The difference in being a real generous person is that you don’t expect anything in return for it. You should not hope for acknowledgement or praise, but you do deserve appreciation. To give and do good things because you want to be the best version of yourself and to others…because you believe you can make the world a better place. Do it for the sake of genuinely caring.