Whenever any change happens in my life, whenever I’m feeling a little down, hell when I’m feeling happy I just indeed find ways to sabotage. First day of work yesterday and it went ok, but on the way home I could think of nothing but cutting off my own foot as a way to lose my job. Other examples include attempting suiciide (deliberately falling) just to shake up my life. And it’s not even romanticized in my head, I start imagine myself complaining about how my parents won’t let me move out because they’re worried i might do it again, or me struggling to learn to walk etc. so why? Why does my brain do this?
