I have the feeling that I’m in a really bad spot rn

So I (18m) have been having this feeling for maybe few months to years that I’m actually mentally not ok.
I have been keeping notes on my phone for almost a year (I think) about everything I feel and stuff that happened that made me feel some way. I have been using Chatgpt as a pseudo-therapist for like 2-3 months bc I don’t want to talk to people about my issues. A more recent development is that I really can’t enjoy stuff anymore when I’m alone, I can’t watch a stream or show without feel like shit, I can’t play any games anymore without becoming bored. I just block, unable to do anything…
I’ve alway had problems interpret my feelings and hated talking about them so I just don’t. I think it might have catched up with me, the years of neglecting my feeling bc I didn’t know what they meant.
There could be more stuff behind it but idk…

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