My husband is currently abroad and I‘m going nuts. He been gone for right under 2 months and has at least another 2 to go.
Life doesn‘t feel worth living anymore ever since he left, I‘m a bundle of sadness, madness and depression who can‘t make it out of bed anymore. We‘re on the phone ALOT but it still seems not enough. We have a 7 hr time difference between us rn and it‘s getting to me, a lot.
As I said, we‘re on the phone alot but life goes on so there will be times where we can‘t. And just thinking about that twists my stomach.
I been trying to distract myself, keep myself busy but I always end up in bed, crying or just feeling lonely and empty in general. The silence is so so so loud. When we‘re off the phone I dissociate, life doesn‘t seem real anymore. It feels like some kind of simulation.
Something where there‘s nothing I can control and nothing I want to live in. There‘s nothing I want to do. I‘m a heavy reader and gamer – I haven‘t picked up a book in forever. I only game with him.
I‘m loosing my apetite when I‘m not with him and while I do have enough weight to where that shouldn‘t worry me it‘s still kind of taking it‘s toll on me.
We been apart before – believe it or not – he‘s ex military and was gone alot for long times but this is different. Last time – I was better sooner.
It didn‘t take me that long to find something to keep me occupied BUT we also weren‘t married, nor did we part the way we did. It was horrible.
I know I know – I‘m crazy and delusional but I craving all his attention, all his happiness. There has to be a way to get out of this hole!
I‘m scared to talk to a therapist and I‘m a nurse in a asylum as well so if I was to talk to somebody I‘m scared they‘ll admit me and I‘ll loose my job.
I‘m sorry for this looooooong vent. I‘m just so close to the edge rn… I feel like I‘m having a burnout.
!Sorry for any errors or wrong grammar, english is my second language haha
