What started off as a silly unrequited crush in August of 2023 spiralled into the worst emotional pain I’ve ever felt in years. He taught me that unconditional love looks like, something I’ve never felt in my life. I’ve never had someone care for me the way he did, and i’ve never cared for someone as strongly as I’ve cared for him. I want to always feel safe in his arms but I can’t have that. I don’t see the point in being alive if I can’t have that. He keeps reassuring me that we will get to a point that we will be okay, we can get over this, we can move on. I don’t think I can, I don’t think I will be able to. He was the only thing that pushed me through the last year, as a best friend and then as a partner. I genuinely didn’t see a point in living because my life felt like one storm after another. He felt like sunshine breaking through the clouds. I feel so numb and empty. When you’ve never felt that love and care before, it feels so devastating to lose it. But not just that, I can’t imagine not having him in this way anymore. He’s the sweetest and purest soul on earth. I feel so sad. I don’t want to be alive if this is what living means 🙁
